caught behind glass
each part of me on display.
No crowds peering or prodding,
just one gaze I turn from.
There is no good place to hide here
that is why I come.
To be seen (in spite of the fear of it).
To be known (via exposure).
No clothes to cover me
No media buzzing its cloud of worries to shade me
No work within which to fashion an identity
No people around with whom to tangle my story.
Just me…and
the Great Gaze of the universe.
I have only this mass of flesh to offer
only this heart,
this dissatisfied soul.
Dissected and categorized
this “I” seems small, sterile when diagramed:
* * *
Lower left limb—limping Hope
Upper left limb—Exhaustion, Sloth
Midsection—Fear, Humor (protective layer)
Lower right limb—Competency, Faith
Upper back—Joy
Lower back—Lust
Upper right limb—Gluttony
Head—Intellect, Dreams (occasional nightmares)
Heart—Love (pained, misdirected, thick, incense-rich, pulsing, velvet) Love.
* * *
On the whole, this “I” is just another of the billions of beings
peppered with good and bad.
The uniqueness is in the precise combination.
Meddle with the recipe a bit
savory or sweet
this meat can be.
It is not yet time to close the book—
the bite of the bitter can be tempered,
the shine of the fruit might be polished.
That is why I come
to this desert:
exposure
to God’s eye
and my own
dis-comforts,
re-calls
my place in this universe
among the billions of beings.
This “I” is loved, guided, challenged, encouraged
like the rest.
On the whole, we comprise a glorious
(glorious!)
mess.
