Jesus and Gender

Humble Confidence--
Fearless Gentleness

These are qualities of character I would like to live more fully into. Humility, confidence, fearlessness and gentleness. Yet these each need to be tempered. Fearless-Confidence seems dangerous as does Humble-Gentleness. Though I sense these match-ups are more culturally in tune. Particularly along lines of gender formation. We want fearlessness and confidence in male leadership. We instinctively understand the importance of these qualities when worn by those in positions of power. And they seem unsuitable or dissonant when worn by women. A fearless, confident woman is still a bitch or a dyke or a ball-buster. Hmm...but just maybe there is one tiny piece of such mindless bigotry and critique which I can accept. No person whose dominant qualities are fearlessness and confidence appeals to me--regardless of sex. I think of dictators and hard-line rules (whether of countries or living rooms). The notion that so many find this sort of leadership acceptable (in males) is unacceptable!

Since we're just entering the waiting room again--another season of Advent--I will wait for these qualities of character to be born in me. But in balance. Fearlessness, Humility, Confidence, Gentleness. The incarnate Light--Jesus the person--wore these qualities well. Balanced. Neither hard-line ruler or meek pushover, this guy showed us a way beyond the binary.

Humble Confidence--

Fearless Gentleness

He probably wouldn't win our vote today, or make the best football coach for that matter. And though some of us feminists still wonder if anyone could have even recognized a woman-Savior, I'll let that angst rest for just this moment. For now I'll wait for that gentle little boy to be born--the one who fearlessly took on the great powers of his time and won. By losing.

It's time to post something here (I seem to be posting at the rate of an astounding once per month) so here's something for November. I have not been inspired to create, so this is a piece written for a class a couple of years ago. It's more for the ear than the eye--but it does fit the theme of this blog rather well. Onward/inward we go--beyond the binary!
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Duality Malady: Integration and Transformation

black – white
wrong –right
we’ve been sick, cosmic blight--
night – day
dark – light
left – right
stop this fight!
in – out
forward – back
walk the line or fall off track.
conservative – liberal
forgiving – vengeful
regurgitate or hold it back
meat – veggie
cat – dog
prince or princess, kiss the frog
rich – poor
urban – rural
backwoods – yuppie
privileged – hungry
ping to ping, ding or dong
the wicked witch or Cinderella’s song?
hot – cold
heavy – light
boy – girl
man – wife
How’d we get so trapped in strife?
orthodox – or just lost
right – wrong
mute – song
circle – square
I don’t care!
home – away
at work – at play
invisible – seen
awake – or dream?
Catholic Church – Candomble
searching for a middle way.
talk – or silence
peace – or violence
commercial – natural
vision – factual
left-brained – right-brained
sober mind – on cocaine
either or either or
walk on in and shut the door.
queer – straight
pink – blue
in – out
it’s up to you.
random – fate
guided – lost
apathetic – for a cause
good – bad
mom – dad
uncle – aunt
priest or lay
where the hell’s the middle way?
I’m so tired, I’m so scared…waking up and no one’s there.
Death – life
sun – moon
ground – air
fact – fiction
slur or diction
virgin – whore
peace or war.
fight fight day or night
donkey – elephant
red or blue
in a zoo.
local – universal
causative – reactive
intelligent – dumb
scratch my head or suck my thumb.
love – hate
early – late
ahead of time – procrastinate
project – reflect
pasty – tan
fat – thin
woman – man
head – heart
myself or just my body parts?
expand – contract
inflate – deflate
power – weakness
vital – drained
wet – dry
heaven – hell
cake or pie?
flow or block
sick or well?
sweet – sour
water – land
roll over – take a stand
repair – destroy
sorrow – joy
yell – whisper
my heart is blistered.
reaching out, reaching in
mother – child
born again.
flower – weed
tree or seed?
ocean – sand
gentle – command
the All is near, letting go of fear
wave – particle
quantum – liminal
resurrect – reflect
birth is death
death is life
beyond the sin
is the center of time
bridge the breach
stretch for peace
reach out your hands
heal the chasm of man
I get a sense, I get a taste
that we can make a different place
it’s through the tears, into the fear
with open ear and breath drawn near
we will see, we will shape
with our feelings we create
equilibrium from delirium
method in madness
order in chaos
the Christ reborn
orisha adorned.
possession progression
primal transformation
my heart can heal
not afraid to feel
my soul lifts
on the breath of your gifts.
We are each other. We are all One.
And it hurts and it burns but each day we learn.
There is no way out, there is only this way.
The answers are here
only hidden by fear.
One blink, one breath
one more moment of death
then new life will emerge
the cycle, the urge
for creation for change
is leading us into that place
we can not name.